Saturday, July 27, 2013

Adult Education

I remember when I graduated high school, I had that "I'm done!" everything I needed to know, I had in my head by the time I turned 18.  Then, I started college and realized I knew very little.  Since I took the scenic route to finish college, I absolutely learned that I knew very little.  I went back to school as an adult, and completed my Master's Degree last December.  But, no matter how many pieces of paper I collect that offer some sort of (very expensive) proof that I have learned enough about a topic to qualify for a degree, I realize that I am never done learning. 

I am learning and relearning so much in this season.  I am relearning who God made me to be.  I am remembering my "first love" in Him, and because of that, He is showing me all kinds of things about myself.  I am learning that I am brave, I can be assertive, I am of value, and He has a plan for me.  I am rediscovering the importance of having a spiritual education.  There are a lot of things I "know" but that I often forget or they get lost in the hustle of life.  Realigning my life to have my spiritual walk as a priority has taught me so much.  It has reminded me of the strength that comes from God to make it through this crazy life.  It has shown me how important it is for me to model a healthy spiritual walk for my children.  It has given me hope in my relationships...if they are based on a solid spiritual foundation, the other aspects will line up a bit easier.  It has reminded me of the importance of accountability.  I am so thankful for God's forgiveness and His patience with me as I strive to make my spiritual life a priority.

I am having to relearn a lot.  For years, I have been wired to not be a stereotypical limit any crying or emotion at all, to tone down my femininity, to take a back seat, and to tone down my personality.  Recently, it clicked that God did not make me that way.  I have become more adventurous.  I realize this won't sound like a big deal to most of you...but, I drive on the parkway almost every day.  For years, I had never been on the parkway, or I would ride, but not drive.  Again, I know this sounds trivial, but the first day that I hopped on the parkway a month ago, I was ELATED!  I had no idea where I was going (I refuse to use GPS), but I figured it out.  I was so excited!  And, now, I'm blessed to get to take the parkway to work every day.  I have always preferred to wear dresses, but I rarely took the time to do any of the "girly" things like accessorize or do something with my hair other than a ponytail.  With the help of my gracious and fashionable friends and super-savvy daughter, I have been taking steps to be more feminine.  God made me a girl, so I might as well get on board and embrace it!  I have recently been reminded that it is ok to cry, which I have stifled for years and has actually been a battle for me.  I think it is safe to say that I have cried more in the past month than I have in the past 5 years.  And, you know what?  I usually feel better after I've cried...I don't look better, but I feel better!  I am constantly being reminded through God's word to be who He made me to be...NOT what people expect from me.  God created me to encourage...and I love being able to do that.  My joy comes from building up others.  I have joy because I am doing what He made me to do!  God also gave me a sense of humor that helps me cope with life and that brings smiles to others.  It has been so wonderful to feel that being restored in my heart and mind.

I know that I will never be done learning and relearning.  I know that past hurts and habits will cause obstacles in my life.  So, I will have to be intentional and diligent in learning new ways to handle stress, conflict, and anger.  I will have to be willing to accept instruction on how to break down barriers of negative behaviors.  I am so excited to know that God has wired us to never stop learning.  I am so thankful He blesses us with opportunities to rediscover who He made us to be!  I am so grateful to have people in my life who are patient and caring enough to "tutor" me through these life lessons.  I intend to never be "done" learning. 

Keep learning, friends...keep stretching and will not be disappointed!

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