Friday, July 12, 2013

Processing...

When life deals you a rough hand, how do you process?  Are you a stress eater?  Do you workout like crazy?  Do you shut down and shut people out?  Do you burst out in angry rants?  Do you make jokes to avoid the issue?  Do you break down in tears?  Do you ignore the issue all together?  Do you a combo of some or all of the above? 

I am learning just how vastly different people are when they are processing the same situation.  Currently, my kids and I are processing several changes.  We are establishing a new normal.  In the past 6 months, we have experienced a major change in our family dynamic, we have downsized from a big home into a smaller apartment, we moved from one community to another, we have lost a loved one, we soon will be transitioning from homeschooling to public school.  Each of these changes are enough to make an adult lose it.  But what about the kids? 

I have to say, my two kiddos are simply amazing.  I know I'm biased, but they truly are outstanding.  Right now, with all of these transitions and life changes, they are struggling to process.  Thankfully, neither of them are like their Mama.  I tend to process by shutting down, hiding out, and cutting myself off from people.  I have been greatly convicted that this is not a healthy way to deal with trials.  So, I have been fighting every one of my natural inclinations to isolate myself, and have instead, been sharing the depths of my struggles, pain, and fear with my trusted few.  Titus processes through sadness.  He cries a lot.  His hurt is very deep and very real.  He experiences nightmares almost every night.  He has started having panic attacks and separation anxiety.  He is a worrier. 

Cecely gets angry...I mean she gets throwing things, punching pillows, shoutin' mad.  It's safe to say, she does not get that from me.  But, in her anger, she tells the truth.  She expresses her thoughts and concerns so eloquently.  Truly, what she says, she has thought a lot about. When she is expressing herself, a lot of her anger comes from poor choices...not that she has made but that have or are affecting her.  She says, "I know what _______is doing isn't right.  That's not what the Bible says.  That's not what God wants us to do."  I love her boldness.  She and I have talked in great lengths about where the Bible says, "be angry, but do not sin in your anger."  Amazingly, Cecely does a great job of that.  When I hear her talk about what makes her angry, righteous indignation is the phrase that comes to mind.  She believes God's Word and clings tightly to it.  She knows what He says enough to know how to stand up for herself.  I am in awe of my 9 year-old!

However you process, remember there is One who sees every tear you cry, who hears every shout that bellows from your lungs, who knows when you are pulling away.  He feels your pain; He knows each hurt.  Whatever it takes for you to get through the hard times, know this:  He is right there with you.  Reach out to Him.  Yell, cry, laugh, do nothing...He knows you, He loves you, He can handle anything you throw at Him.  You are His, and you are loved!

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