Saturday, August 3, 2013

Thankful and Happy

I'm sitting in my comfy red chair with my laptop in front of me, wondering what I should write about.  I am dancing down the road of complete exhaustion, but sleep is one of those things that is not part of my routine yet.  One day, I hope it will be.  I'm waiting on a load of laundry in the dryer to finish it's cycle, then I can attempt to collapse.  In the mean time, I'm staring at this monitor and musing about a life-changing, big-impact blog to write...friends, I got nothing. 

The more I sit and reflect, two words keep circling through my brain...thankful and happy.  I wonder why it is that as a culture, we really only focus on being thankful in November.  Thanksgiving is a great reminder to be thankful, but we should all be oozing gratitude everyday.  Then, there's happy.  Wow...that word has been foreign to me for a long time.  Don't get me wrong, I feel completely full of joy.  I have the inner peace that comes from having the Holy Spirit reside in me.  I don't know if this makes sense at all...but, I feel like joy comes from Jesus, and happiness is more of a human thing.  I could be wrong, and this in not a philosophical high for me.  I really don't know how to explain it.  What I do know is that over the past few days, I just have these bursts of delight that capture my heart and mind.  And, I like it.  I have spent too much time spiraling into sadness and doubt.  So, this "new" happy thing is working for me. 

As I sit hear listening to the squeaking of my dryer, the snoozing of my kiddos, and the "Best of Pixar" soundtrack playing from Titus' room, I thought it would be appropriate to list some of the things I am thankful for.

*Grace...I don't completely understand it, I definitely don't deserve it, but it is the reason I'm still here.
*Unconditional love...again, I don't understand it, but I am glad it has been shown to me.
*Cecely...her compassionate heart, sweet spirit, and bubbly, snorty laugh warms my heart.
*Titus...his old man sense of humor, his affectionate attitude, and his wit keeps me on my toes.
*My parents...who would do anything for me, who are patient with me, and who fight alongside me.
*My siblings...who have filled my mind with the greatest memories.
*My friends...who have supported, encouraged, and walked right beside me through good and bad.
*My church family...East campus has been the biggest safety net in my life.  I am so glad God brought me home!
*My amazing is it to work and worship in the same place and to be surrounded by Christians day in and day out.
*The Bible...full of incredible stories, boundless love, eternal hope, and plenty of conviction and encouragement.
*Second chances.
*Text messaging.
*New experiences.
*New friends.
* and old...Christian and not.
* biggest vice!
* escape and 2nd biggest vice.
*Our sweet little home...never have I felt more comfortable in a space.  And, never have my kids been so relaxed.
*God's sovereignty over my attempts to control things.
*Clean water.
*Money enough to pay the bills and give my kids extras from time to time.
*The Parkway.
*God's faithfulness.
*The ability to unlearn bad behaviors and to learn new ones.
*Hand-me-down furniture...just feels so cozy.
*Memory foam.
*Freedom from fear.
*Renewed strength.
*The need to serve.
*The want to go.

I could go on and on and on...and, tonight when I pray, I will do just that.  I have so much to be grateful for...big and small, spiritual and physical,  serious and silly.  God has provided so much in my life.  Where would I be without Him and His great love?

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