Parenting...such a loaded word and heavy concept. Being a parent is by far the toughest, most complicated, and overwhelmingly exhaustive job I have had. But, being a Mama is without a doubt the most rewarding, exciting, and uplifting experience of my life. I have been so very blessed to have given birth to 2 amazing kiddos, to be the step-mom to 2 creative young ladies, to be the bonus Mom to an incredible young lady and to have 2 more little ones waiting on me when I get to heaven. All I wanted to be when I was younger was a Mom; and I am grateful that God has allowed me this gift.
My first parenting adventure took place when my sweet Cecely was born.
She was premature. She was born not breathing. She was very sick with colic, jaundice, and acid reflux. She went through her toddler years behind the milestones in everything but verbal skills. When she went to pre-K, we began the path of neurologists, occupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy due to a diagnosis of mild cerebral palsy. When she began school, we started the journey of academic and psychological testing. As her Mama, I hated seeing Cecely being reduced to a piece of paper filled with charts. I still hate looking at her IEP paperwork and seeing where her "dots" line up with other children. I want to say, "she may be below grade level in reading, but she is so funny. She may struggle in math, but she loves everyone." It is so difficult watching a Cecely struggle--when I know the depth of who she is and what she brings. I want her to have the BEST life possible. Thankfully, we are in a place and at a school where she is so well supported, and we are very thankful.
When I was carrying Titus, I was carrying twins, but I lost one baby. Titus was born healthy and happy. Developmentally, he has always been where he needs to be. We recently began the adventure
My heart tightened in my chest as I walked to the waiting room.
In a short amount of time, my mind went to one hundred different places. Memories of my past and my family's history of accident filled my brain. I thought of all of the times my Mama had to watch my siblings and me go behind a medical door. When I was in high school, I started having issues with my vocal chords. My Mama would go with me to every appointment, even when those
There have been many times in my life where I have been overwhelmed by very loud life lessons. Seeing Titus in fear then pain, broke my heart. At the same time, I was trying to imagine what it was like for my Mama all the times she saw my siblings and me hurting. This week, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I am allowed to be a Mama, and that my baby boy is recovering slowly but well...my baby girl is thriving in her school. I am reminded of the love my Mama showed me.
Even greater than those things, I was reminded of the love God has for me, for my children, for my family, for you! God sees us when we hurt. He sees our pain. He understands our hearts. He gave us the gift of his Son, Jesus. Jesus lived His life as a human, and He felt the things we feel. He knows what it is to be betrayed. He knows what it is to feel physical pain. He understands anger. He knows what love is. He knows what sadness is. There is nothing going on in my world or yours that our God does not understand. So, when the emotions and challenges of life overwhelm you, when the tears flow freely, when the hurt runs deep, remember the One who made you loves you so deeply and dearly. He wants to walk with you through every day of your life--good and bad, happy and sad, joyful and angry. He loves you! He gets you! He's got you!